See, what had happened was . . .

My mom and I were in Mary Jo's Fabric store the other day when I kept overhearing one of the workers. Her southern accent was heavy. Well lets be honest, she down right sounded like the biggest redneck you've ever met. For those of you unfamiliar with Mary Jo's, it's like the Mecca of fabric stores (at least around Charlotte anyway). The selection is enormous. So the first conversation I overhear with this Mary Jo's employee and a customer went something like this:

Customer - "Wow, you guys have a really big selection of fabrics."

Redneck employee - "Yeah . . . if you can't find it here, you don't damn need it."

The next conversation took place between this same worker and my mom, and went something like this:

Mom hands the lady a roll of fabric to cut and then asks,"Do you have one of those charts that tells me how much fabric I'll need to re-cover a specific kind of chair?"

Employee, "You're going to re-cover a chair with this fabric?"

Mom - "Well, yes. Do you think it's too thin?"

Employee - "No, I just don't think it's suitable."

Mom - "Well you haven't seen my room!"

So then Mom decides she won't use the fabric for the chair, she'll just get enough to make some accent pillows. When the lady goes to cut the fabric Mom asks, "Are you going to measure and cut from where the pattern in the fabric actually begins?"

Employee sighs, obviously disgusted with Mom's question and asks, "Are you Baptist?"

Mom - "Well as a matter of fact I am."

Employee - "It shows."