Whew

***WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE ***

Starting weight: 152

Current weight: 143

I barely made my goal, but I'm glad to report that I've lost 1.5 pounds per week since my last post about my weight loss plan! That's 9 pounds over the last 6 weeks. It's hard to stay motivated when it comes off that slowly. I'd prefer an overnight change :) But since that's not possible, nor healthy, I'm hoping I'll stay on track and practice some serious self control and continue to have opportunities to exercise.

When I look in the mirror, I easily get discouraged because it looks like I have a long way to go, and then I want to run to the refrigerator for comfort. Yikes! That sort of defeats the purpose. I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy pants either, and I certainly thought after almost 13 weeks I would be able to do so!

Anyway, this is kind of a boring post, but I just wanted to follow up my last weight loss post and update you all on the progress.

By The Way . . .

I've forgotten to update the blog concerning our whereabouts. We are back at home in Charlotte! Normally we're gone during the summer because Brian is playing baseball. But since his foot was fractured by a line drive a few weeks ago, the team allowed us to come home while Brian rehabs. How awesome is that???!!!!

The drive from Texas back to North Carolina wasn't nearly as smooth as the initial drive to Texas. Sage was old enough to stay awake for longer periods of time and decided it wasn't so fun being in her car seat for that long. However, we made it back in 2 days and we were all relieved to be home.

We walked into our house at midnight and you wouldn't believe what we found . . . a beautifully cleaned and straightened house with a stocked pantry and refrigerator and our beds made, ready for us to crawl into. We could not have felt more loved or blessed. Our sweet friends from church had done their research, figured out who had a key to our house and spent what I'm sure was many hours preparing it for our return. They are seriously the best people in the world. Salt of the earth kind of people. This was also waiting for me on our kitchen table, complete with Happy Mother's Day balloons:


Our return home could not have been sweeter.

It Came and Went . . .

Yesterday was my very first Mother's Day. It didn't even hit me until late in the day that the holiday was now actually in honor of ME. To be honest, the day didn't feel like it was about me. Not like your birthday does. I kind of think that's how it will be for the rest of my days. My children will be on the forefront of my mind so much so that "self" will take a back seat. And this is a good thing . . .

I think the toughest part about motherhood has been the sudden denial of self. In the quickest of moments everything changes. All of the sudden I have in my arms the most beautiful, precious gift I can imagine. I love her more than life itself. But in that very same moment, I'm not #1 anymore. I'd lay my life down for this little being, no questions asked. But . . .

Adjusting to life with a newborn means I can't do what I want to do, when I want to do it. My life now revolves around a very, VERY important and wonderful responsibility. Admittedly this has not been the prettiest of transitions for my heart. You see, my flesh wants to remain selfish. I recognize that while this is a difficult time, God has planned all along, from the very beginning, for this experience to change me. Motherhood will change me. It will rid me of the notion that this life was ever about me . . . and this of course, is a good thing.

I was an only child. Maybe that makes it a little harder for me than most. Maybe not. But the fact of the matter remains, God has always had big plans for my heart; plans to mold it and rid it of it's sinful nature, and now He will do it through my children. I can't see what the road ahead looks like. I only know that I was not prepared for the long, arduous journey this would be. A journey I wouldn't trade for the world. It will reveal all of my dirt, the ugliness of my heart that I desperately need to deal with. It will force me out, and Christ in. Staying true to His style, God will make motherhood soooooo worth it. As His Word says, children are a gift, a reward from the Lord . . . in ways I never dreamed.



Sage, one day you may read this. I want you to know that I love you to the fullest of the full. When I say I'd lay my life down for you I mean it. You are worth every bit of me. You may not understand some of the things I've said today until you're a mother yourself and that's ok. The purpose of this blog is to document our lives and I believe that it is extremely important to be real and honest with the world and especially with all of us who call ourselves Christians. Our struggles are real, and we should be real with each other about them. Please make no mistake. You are not a burden. You are a prize, the most beautiful gift from the Lord. I appreciate you to the depths of my being. God is using you already to change the world and He's starting in the heart of your own mother. I love you sweet girl.