Mama/Daughter Time

Ok, here's the deal. There are some things that just come easily to certain people. Like my friend Katie. She's smart as a whip, works very hard and therefore has climbed the corporate ladder quickly, all the while making it look very effortless. And then there's my aunt, Bunny, who hosts all 15 members of our family at her house for several days and graciously coordinates meals, laundry, etc. and somehow never seems stressed or overwhelmed, just glad to do it.

Other women have even pointed out a few things I've made look effortless. (Shocker, I know). I kind of thought motherhood would be one of those things. However, I can tell you with all confidence that I DO NOT make motherhood look effortless. I'm pretty sure that if you could have been a fly on my wall over the past 4 days, you would agree. (Please don't mistaken me here. The love and adoration I have for Sage overwhelmed me the minute I laid eyes on her - that was completely effortless and natural. I'm referring more to the "reading your child" and "knowing what's best for your infant" gift some people seem to possess that make caring for a baby look easy).

Brian left last Monday for a 4 game road trip. That left Sage and I back in NJ, a little bored. I was pretty concerned. Let's be honest, when your child won't let anyone hold her (as in, screams bloody murder when a stranger even gets close), and your husband skips town for a few days, it can leave one a little concerned about his/her sanity as the sole care taker. Sage and I have also never been alone for days on end, in a small apartment, in a town where we don't know many people. I was genuinely a little nervous.

I made my fair share of mistakes, like not paying enough attention to when she needed to nap, which meant I ended up with a very cranky, overly tired baby at the end of the day. But we also had several giggle/tickle sessions where she laughed so hard it made us both delirious. A "girls night" after Sage went to bed, complete with cupcakes and good conversation with sweet friends helped me feel sane too. Sometimes you just need a little adult conversation :)

Sage is such a good baby (until she's around a big group or a stranger, then she freaks out, but I've been told she'll grow out of this), and the other day I was thinking about how I want to really enjoy my time with her. These next few years are precious and irreplaceable. They may be the only time we get, just the two of us, especially if Brian and I have more kids. In a few years when life is crazier and more populated, I'll probably relish and adore the idea of getting 4 uninterrupted days with my sweet daughter. So I think I should start appreciating them NOW.

Here's a little pic of our sweet Sage that I took this past week. Could you not just eat her up? Or as Daddy likes to say, "Sage, I could slop you up with a biscuit."

Gone Baby Gone

Well, it was so nice while it lasted . . . a summer at home that is. Our sweet time hanging out together as a family 24/7 has come to a close. Brian's foot is almost completely healed and we're heading to New Jersey in a few days so he can start pitching again. It's so hard to leave our family, friends and community in Charlotte. Although I do look forward to watching baseball again! It will be so much fun when Sage is old enough to enjoy it and understand what's going on. We have some sweet friends in NJ that I'm looking forward to seeing as well. Here's hoping that Sage does really well on the 12 hour drive up there!

I Wanna Do It All!!!!

Do you ever find yourself just wanting to do and be everything? There are so many hobbies I'd like to take up and be really good at them. Like photography and sewing. I just adore good pictures. They can tell such a powerful story. And wouldn't it be nice if I could sew my own drapes instead of having to pay someone else an arm and a leg to do it? But how and when would I take a sewing or photography class when I can barely squeeze the most important things into the day? I have "everyday goals" like spending time with the Lord, with my precious family, taking care of my home (which includes cooking, cleaning, and shopping for my loved ones), exercising, the list goes on and on.

I found a website recently called the Pioneer Woman. I seriously think this lady does it all. She must not sleep. She's a photographer, homeschools her 4 kids, just finished writing a cook book, and updates her website all the time with how-to articles. She's pretty hilarious too. Check her out at www.thepioneerwoman.com. I'm not sure whether to feel inspired or intimidated . . . but like her. She was a high heel wearin' California girl who's world drastically changed when she married a cattle rancher from Oklahoma. To hear her tell it, life couldn't be sweeter. I like that. I get that. What I don't get is how she accomplishes so much while raising 4 kiddos!

A Fun 4th Weekend

It was fun to finally experience a July 4th! Since Brian is usually playing ball, we don't get to celebrate like the rest of the nation. The 4th ends up being like any other day because there's a baseball game to be played. But this summer is different! This year we got to do so many fun things.

Our neighborhood had a little bike parade. As you can see it was pretty simple, but Sage was quite entertained by it.

Then we had our good friends Jeremy, Heather and Mason over for a cook out! Mason and Sage are buds. She kept reaching for Mason, it was really cute.

And finally, on Sunday our church had a big patriotic service where Mike Huckabee was the guest speaker. I always get emotional when we honor all the men and women that have so valiantly served our country. On a side note, how big is that flag? Holy cow.

This has nothing to do with the 4th of July, but I thought you'd all like to know that Sage is fascinated by her feet. She's constantly staring at them in amazement (see pic below). It's pretty hilarious. She'll strain to sit up in her car seat just so she can get a better look at them! Happy 4th everybody!!!!!

This Daddy Loves His Baby

"You are all fair, my love; there is no flaw in you."

I knew Brian would love Sage. But I don't think I could have fathomed the intensity with which he would love her. I mean, this man pours over his beloved daughter. When he holds her, he holds her close, usually her face right up against his. It's precious. And there are many days when he'll walk up to me with Sage in his arms and say with all the pride he can muster, "Look. This is my daughter. My daughter."

If that doesn't make your heart melt I don't know what will.

I was telling that story to my friend, Marti, the other day and she so wisely reminded me that that is exactly how God is with me, His daughter . . . only a million times more. It's difficult to wrap my brain around that much love, adoration, and pride. I witness a visual of my Father's love for me every day as I watch my sweet husband cherish his baby girl. But then I have to multiply that by millions? That's an amazing kind of love. God says in His Word that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that His works are "wonderful." That's right, God thinks we're wonderful. Just read Jeremiah 1:5 and Song of Solomon 4:7 back to back:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart . . . you are all fair, my love; there is no flaw in you." What a sweet Father. This is how much God loves us friend.

Whew

***WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE ***

Starting weight: 152

Current weight: 143

I barely made my goal, but I'm glad to report that I've lost 1.5 pounds per week since my last post about my weight loss plan! That's 9 pounds over the last 6 weeks. It's hard to stay motivated when it comes off that slowly. I'd prefer an overnight change :) But since that's not possible, nor healthy, I'm hoping I'll stay on track and practice some serious self control and continue to have opportunities to exercise.

When I look in the mirror, I easily get discouraged because it looks like I have a long way to go, and then I want to run to the refrigerator for comfort. Yikes! That sort of defeats the purpose. I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy pants either, and I certainly thought after almost 13 weeks I would be able to do so!

Anyway, this is kind of a boring post, but I just wanted to follow up my last weight loss post and update you all on the progress.

By The Way . . .

I've forgotten to update the blog concerning our whereabouts. We are back at home in Charlotte! Normally we're gone during the summer because Brian is playing baseball. But since his foot was fractured by a line drive a few weeks ago, the team allowed us to come home while Brian rehabs. How awesome is that???!!!!

The drive from Texas back to North Carolina wasn't nearly as smooth as the initial drive to Texas. Sage was old enough to stay awake for longer periods of time and decided it wasn't so fun being in her car seat for that long. However, we made it back in 2 days and we were all relieved to be home.

We walked into our house at midnight and you wouldn't believe what we found . . . a beautifully cleaned and straightened house with a stocked pantry and refrigerator and our beds made, ready for us to crawl into. We could not have felt more loved or blessed. Our sweet friends from church had done their research, figured out who had a key to our house and spent what I'm sure was many hours preparing it for our return. They are seriously the best people in the world. Salt of the earth kind of people. This was also waiting for me on our kitchen table, complete with Happy Mother's Day balloons:


Our return home could not have been sweeter.

It Came and Went . . .

Yesterday was my very first Mother's Day. It didn't even hit me until late in the day that the holiday was now actually in honor of ME. To be honest, the day didn't feel like it was about me. Not like your birthday does. I kind of think that's how it will be for the rest of my days. My children will be on the forefront of my mind so much so that "self" will take a back seat. And this is a good thing . . .

I think the toughest part about motherhood has been the sudden denial of self. In the quickest of moments everything changes. All of the sudden I have in my arms the most beautiful, precious gift I can imagine. I love her more than life itself. But in that very same moment, I'm not #1 anymore. I'd lay my life down for this little being, no questions asked. But . . .

Adjusting to life with a newborn means I can't do what I want to do, when I want to do it. My life now revolves around a very, VERY important and wonderful responsibility. Admittedly this has not been the prettiest of transitions for my heart. You see, my flesh wants to remain selfish. I recognize that while this is a difficult time, God has planned all along, from the very beginning, for this experience to change me. Motherhood will change me. It will rid me of the notion that this life was ever about me . . . and this of course, is a good thing.

I was an only child. Maybe that makes it a little harder for me than most. Maybe not. But the fact of the matter remains, God has always had big plans for my heart; plans to mold it and rid it of it's sinful nature, and now He will do it through my children. I can't see what the road ahead looks like. I only know that I was not prepared for the long, arduous journey this would be. A journey I wouldn't trade for the world. It will reveal all of my dirt, the ugliness of my heart that I desperately need to deal with. It will force me out, and Christ in. Staying true to His style, God will make motherhood soooooo worth it. As His Word says, children are a gift, a reward from the Lord . . . in ways I never dreamed.



Sage, one day you may read this. I want you to know that I love you to the fullest of the full. When I say I'd lay my life down for you I mean it. You are worth every bit of me. You may not understand some of the things I've said today until you're a mother yourself and that's ok. The purpose of this blog is to document our lives and I believe that it is extremely important to be real and honest with the world and especially with all of us who call ourselves Christians. Our struggles are real, and we should be real with each other about them. Please make no mistake. You are not a burden. You are a prize, the most beautiful gift from the Lord. I appreciate you to the depths of my being. God is using you already to change the world and He's starting in the heart of your own mother. I love you sweet girl.

Worry Wart

I think I need to be real and talk about some real issues facing those of us who call ourselves moms . . .

I confess that ever since I had Sage I feel like I've been a different person. I'm not myself, or maybe I'm just a heightened version of myself. I don't like what I've allowed myself to become. I think it's high time I made up my mind to change. What's the Bible verse? "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Here's the struggle . . . I love the little booger so much that I worry about EVERYTHING. I stress over EVERYTHING. She wakes up too early from a nap and I'm in a tizzy. She spits up a little and I freak out. I think she should go to sleep because she's tired, but she won't and I get flustered. And for what? Is it really that big of a deal? Definitely not. I've realized that this stressful attitude is making me miserable, and probably making me miserable to live with. (Poor Brian, catching the brunt.) The fact of the matter is, I desperately want everything to go smoothly. I want to sleep. I want Sage to be happy all the time and never experience pain. I want, I want, I want, and yet that's just not the way life is. I could spend the rest of my days worrying over this child and it wouldn't do me or her a bit of good. It's time to renew my mind. Make a conscious decision to relax. Put life into proper perspective. Sage is too precious for me not to enjoy her first months of life to the fullest. And the rest of my family and friends will certainly benefit from a less uptight Lindsay too.

I'm quite sure this behavior is normal for a first time mom, but if I don't nip it in the bud it has the potential to snowball. This will be challenging for me. I'm a worry wart by nature I do believe. But I long to be transformed, and God's Word gives me hope.

Weight Loss Challenge

*** Warning to any men who read my blog . . . this post is about women and weight . . . might want to skip over this one :) ***




After gaining at least 42 pounds while pregnant, I am officially focused on weight loss. It's hard to admit, but I got up to 175 lbs and honestly, that was a week before I gave birth so it's quite possible that I got up to 180. That's 20 pounds away from weighing 200 lbs people. NOT GOOD. However, I got a beautiful, healthy, precious little girl so it was definitely worth it. I didn't exactly hold back when it came to eating when I was pregnant, but now . . .



It's time to buckle down . . .



It's time to get serious . . .



It's time to get HEALTHY.



As my days of being pregnant were nearing to an end, all I wanted to do was get rid of all that weight. I couldn't climb the stairs without getting out of breath, my hips ached like the dickens, and I resulted to "waddling" as opposed to walking. I was borderline miserable. I remember thinking, I can't wait to exercise and move without pain again! Well, that day is here.

My last postpartum visit was today and the doc cleared me to exercise until my heart's content. I won't go crazy (let's be honest I've never been an exercise addict anyway), but I will slowly build up to running and weight bearing exercises. I currently weigh 152 pounds. My goal is to get down to (at least) 130 by the time our family beach vacation rolls around on August 8. That's 22 pounds I need to lose in a little over 15 weeks. That shouldn't be too hard, right? I don't know, but there is an awesome website I'm using to help me stay on track. It's livestrong.com. It is extremely extensive, includes everything pertaining to good health, and all the tools you could possibly need. I've even got my mom hooked on it and she's issued me a weight loss challenge! Really we're more like partners, encouraging each other to stay on track. On Livestrong.com I've set a goal of losing 1.5 pounds per week. I don't own a scale, but I think I'll be able to tell if I'm losing regularly. I'll try to keep you updated on that front. Any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated as well as any suggestions for programs/websites that kept you motivated to lose weight! I think the bottom line is that it takes will power. Not exactly my strong suit, but I am able, I know it. It is in me somewhere. Here goes nothing . . .

6 Weeks Today

Guess who's 6 weeks old and starting to smile!!!!

Lone Star State

We made it to Texas in one piece. It was quite the adventure with a newborn in tow (who doesn't sleep for long stretches at night)! The good thing is, Sage seems to like her car seat and did beautifully while riding in the car all day, for several days in a row. We only had to stop to feed and change her. She literally NEVER got fussy otherwise. What a sweet little trooper. Once we got here, she and I could not have been more excited to be re-united with Brian!





After spending a week at the Comfort Inn, we're now living in the Residence Inn, where we'll be for the rest of the summer. It's small, but it feels good to finally be settled. I feel like the last 4 weeks of my life have been the most hectic, stressful, and overwhelming of my life. I had no idea that becoming a first time mom, moving to Texas with a newborn, and being away from my husband for 2 weeks would be so hard. It was a recipe for an emotional disaster, but thankfully I've had a lot of help from family and friends over the past month. Mom and Dad made the drive with me, and Mom is staying here for another couple of weeks before going back to SC.

Here is my latest favorite picture of Miss Sage! She makes some adorable faces these days. I can't wait until she starts smiling at us!

Check it Out!!!

The fabulous Heather Knowles has done it again! She has taken some absolutely wonderful pictures of Sage! Check these out and Heather's website, www.sproutsbyheather.com

Oh Baby!

I can't believe that the last post I wrote was the day I gave birth to our baby girl! I thought I was having contractions, but to be honest I wasn't sure (until they got pretty painful later in the day). So, Sage Catherine Adams was born at 11:02 pm on March 3, 2010! She weighed exactly 7 pounds and measured 19 1/2 inches long. Long story short, my 2nd epidural took beautifully and I didn't feel a thing! I actually enjoyed the birthing experience far more than I thought I would. I pushed for an hour and our baby girl was here! Thankfully, my recovery is going well too and there have been no complications.

I can honestly say that neither Brian nor I were prepared for how much we would immediately love this little being. She is the apple of our eye. We can't stop looking at her. We are simply in love. No other way to put it. In my case, in love and also overwhelmed by the adjustment, but nonetheless completely in love. Brian had to leave for Mexico on my birthday, March 9, and neither one of us were prepared for how heart-wrenching that would be. We cried like babies for 24 hours leading up to his departure. I've never seen my husband so sad and broken. It broke my heart. Sage and I will join him in Texas by March 22, but somehow that didn't console either one of us. We just need to be a family right now, it's the deepest desire of our hearts. We NEED each other, but we'll have to wait. So pray for us if you think about it . . . that this time apart will go by quickly.

On a lighter note, here are some pictures of precious Sage during her first week and a half of life!

The Big 3-0

On March 9, I will officially be 30 years old! I can't say I'm looking forward to turning 30. In fact, I don't really mind that it will be overshadowed by the birth of our first child. I'm certainly not depressed about being 30, but it is the end of a decade. My 20's were so fun that it's a little hard to leave them! Not that there aren't perks to getting older. There are children to enjoy!! But I don't look forward to the physical decline sure to follow :) I hope to be like my dad: very fit and healthy through my 60's. However, that would require a lot more exercise that what I'm doing now. After this pregnancy is over, I think exercise will be a welcome release! I want so badly to be able to move without aching; to walk up the stairs without being out of breath! Let's just hope labor and delivery go well and I don't have any extended recovery time.

Speaking of labor and delivery, we should have a precious baby girl on our hands in a matter of days! I'm 39 weeks along, 4 cm dilated, 70% effaced, and started having contractions last night! However, they're not close enough together to go to the hospital yet, so for now I just get to bare through them. We are really looking forward to meeting this little person soon!

Shower #2 and 37 Weeks Along!

I recently had my second baby shower and it was SO FUN! This one was in Charlotte and included all of my friends, former co-workers, and a few family members. Again, I was completely floored by the generosity extended to me! People gave such unique gifts too, which was a huge plus. My sweet sister-in-law gave me a swedish massage! My good friend Heather, the founder/owner of Sprouts Photography, gave me a gift certificate to Sprouts so I can get pictures made of Sage at different stages during this next year!! Those are just two examples, and they are wonderful luxuries I would not have been able to afford otherwise, so I am extremely grateful.

I also received a DVD I'm super excited about. It's one out of a series of DVDs called, "Praise Baby." As you've heard me mention before, one of the things I look forward to most about having kids is worshiping with them, singing God's praises together on a regular basis. I had no idea these DVDs existed so when Karla gave me the first one , "Born to Worship" I was thrilled!

I could go on and on about all the wonderful gifts, but I must digress . . .

I have to add that one of the hostesses of the party, my good friend Katie, made the cake. Can you believe how professional it looks? She could start a business!




Me with all of the sweet hostesses: Tiffany, Katie, Marti, and Lizzie.



I had my 37 week check up a few days ago and the doctor was shocked at how ready I am to deliver! She said Sage's head is already very low, my cervix is extremely soft, and I'm 3 cm dilated. After the appointment, reality set in that I'm going to have a baby VERY soon. So I rushed home and frantically started doing all the things I've been putting off; like washing her clothes, packing a hospital bag, etc. etc. The nursery isn't ready, but I think she'll survive without a completely decorated room :)

Just because my body is "ready" though doesn't mean I'm going to deliver tomorrow. I could stay this way for another 2 weeks. However, I sure would like for Sage to come sooner rather than later! The doctor doesn't think it's likely that I'll make it to my due date (March 11). I have my 38 week check up on Tuesday so we'll see if there's any progress! Exciting times!!

I've been a bad girl . . .

I'm such a bad blogger. It's been over a month since I've posted anything and so much has happened:

Brian came home!!! Weeks ago actually. I guess that's why I've been a bad blogger, I've just been relishing this time with him after missing him for 3 months!

I'm 35 weeks along and am growing by the mile! My belly feels so huge I can't imagine how it will get any bigger. Yet I know it will, some how.

We've officially decided on a name. Our precious little girl will be called Sage Catherine Adams. Both names, Sage and Catherine are very dear to us. Sage is unique, yet not hard to spell, and beautiful (to us at least). I also have a wonderful friend whose name is Sage and she is so dear to my heart. She was one of my first disciplers. She let me into her life, loved on me like none other, and by her example showed me what an intimate relationship with God could look like. Sage means "wise one" and it is certainly our prayer that our little girl would grow up to be a wise, discerning, passionate child of God. Catherine was my middle name, and I was named after my mom, Cathy. Therefore, we decided to keep it in the family and pass it on to the next generation as well. I would love nothing more than for my little girl to have some of the same Godly qualities as my mother and friend, Sage.

The nursery design is coming together! I hesitate to post any pictures because it's still very much in progress. However, I have created a mosaic of many of items and colors that will be used in the room. The middle square is the "inspiration fabric" that embodies most of the colors I wanted to use. The walls WILL NOT be pink. I like pink, but only in small doses. Therefore, the walls are green, sort of a light yellowish-green.



Some fun things I want to remember about this time . . . Brian heard that if the father reads to his baby while she's still in the womb she may recognize his voice once she's born. In fact, many newborns stop crying immediately after they're born once they hear their daddy's voice. Brian loves that idea. So every night before we go to sleep he reads a book to Sage. He also talks to her throughout the day just to say "hey," and he loves to ask her, "when are you going to come see us?" We want more than anything for her to be perfectly healthy, but we'd also like her to come a little early . . . like around March 6. Statistically most babies are born between the 40th and 41st week of pregnancy, so we may not get our wish considering her due date isn't until March 11.

One reason we'd like Sage to come a few days early (only if she's ready) is because Brian has to report to his team by March 16. He signed a contract to play for a team in Reynosa, Mexico this summer. Reynosa is just over the U.S./Mexico border so we'll be living in McAllen, Texas and Brian will commute back and forth over the border every day.



Needless to say, I don't know what we're going to do if Sage decides to be a week late! Daddy has to be present for her birth so we're praying she comes on time or a little early!

1st Shower

The first shower is under our belt and it was a success! It was especially nice to spend time with some of my best friends from home, as well as some of my parents' friends that I hardly ever get to see. The food was absolutely incredible (as if I needed any extra encouragement to eat!), and I received some much needed baby gear.

As I was driving home, I was thinking about how thankful I am for good friends and family members who love me, who are excited about the birth of my first child, and who are willing to help Brian and I provide for her needs. An absolutely overwhelming feeling of thankfulness came over me and I was so humbled by the generosity shown to me earlier in the day. I pray that I will show the same kindness to others!

Here are a few pics from Saturday:



We had 7 hostesses for this shower! Here are Mom (bottom right) and I with 6 of them.


Our 7th hostess, Lindsey, couldn't make it so we took a pic with her mom as her "stand in!" And yes, I am chubby. Let's just get that out in the open. You know you were thinking it anyway.

Seaside Bathroom

I hadn't planned to take on so many projects this off-season, but with Brian being away I've found the time and energy (but not always the money) to re-do some things in the house. Our guest bathroom used to be a very bright yellow, and I had never really taken the time to decorate it. It didn't even have a shower curtain (just the liner). The yellow walls weren't bad, but I wasn't crazy about them either. I prefer much more soothing colors (earth tones). So while we were painting the nursery, Mom and Dad and I also repainted the guest bath. I chose "silver sage" from Restoration Hardware. I've always loved that blueish-sage and I'm very happy that at least one room in my house is now that color! The bathroom still needs some decor (like a picture above the toilet), but I already like it better!

BEFORE:







AFTER:

Thanksgiving 2009

Pictures from Thanksgiving 2009 - better late than never! I forgot my camera when I was in Bishopville with Brian's family. I also didn't get pictures of everyone in my family, but this is what I did get right before we sat down to eat!